SUMMARY:
Alright, I could easily go about saying the scene starts in ancient Egypt. I could start cracking wise about "Prince Of Egypt" references, and call Adam the "Green Of The Nile", but I won't. It's yet another Angel Grove Stunt Show, this time the period piece setting at the Amusement Park is Egypt. Notice that Adam seems to be the only stunt man who also worked on last episode's "Back to the 1950's" stunt show, and the whole Wild Cats/ Bad Dogs cliches seemed to have vanished. So there's this guy walking up to a platform with a large magnifying glass looking staff placed on it. He takes it and rants about how using this staff of power he'll conquer Egypt. Not if Adam can stop him first, as in comes Adam & two unknowns, all wearing way too much eye make-up. They try to stop the bad guy, tons of pointlessly unnecessary flipping goes on, and to make a long stunt scene short, Adam lifts the staff into the air, focusing the sun light through the center at the bad guy. He screams and erupts into an explosion of golden dust. The staff is safe, and the audience begins clapping and cheering. The four actors smile and take their bows for the people, as nearby in a prop birdbath of blue liquid, out pops a tiny version of the Subcraft's Periscope. Divatox is spying on the Ranger teens as per usual, getting annoyed by the sight of Ancient Egypt. Elgar is cleaning off Porto's smudged faceglass, wondering if his Aunt has a phobia about pyramids. Porto fills him on the secretive details, it turns out her first failed engagement was to a creature named Pharaoh. Just like with Maligore in the Turbo Movie, he too left her at the altar. Divatox yells at Porto, both henchmonsters thinking they're in trouble, but it turns out she just wants him to call up Pharaoh. Her Ex-fiance still owes her one and it's time to collect in on it. First she'll use him to destroy the Turbo Rangers, then she'll throw him in a trash heap just like he did to her a thousand years ago. She gives a sinister laugh, before mentioning there is something to be said about revenge, no matter how politically incorrect it may be.
[opening credits]
Some time later in the Subcraft, Pharaoh has arrived at the request of his one time pirate lover. Sort of, as it turns out one minute he's sitting down to a meal of scarab beetles and monkey brains and the next thing he knows he's being taken prisoner aboard that floating garbage can! Divatox tells loverboy to listen up, she spent a century in therapy after he dumped her so the way she sees it he owes her. He agrees and asks what's the task, she hands him a small pyramid shaped detonator, telling him to take it to the Angel Grove Stunt Show where the Rangers won't find it. He reminds her he can never defeat the Turbo Rangers (seems even he's heard of the name change), but she tells him to spare the editorial and just do as she tells him or she'll never send him back. He goes along with a woman scorned and teleports to the Amusement Park with a staff (resembling the one in the Egypt show, coincidentally) he's not afraid to use. Divatox looks to us and talks about how by sundown the Amusement Center will be a giant crater and children everywhere will anguish. Who is she trying to take out, the Rangers or the kids? Plus, wouldn't she just be better off trashing Disney World? Oh, Nevermind, Pharaoh teleports to the Ancient Egypt set and it reminds him of his home. He doesn't think anyone will even notice the detonator there, when Adam comes walking up to the set. Pharaoh stands perfectly still, pretending to be a statue as Adam takes his staff from him, thinking it the prop! Mr. Peabody, the prop manager, has Adam sign to take it home and touch up the paint. Adam walks off with the staff in tow, as Mr. Peabody walks over to near the payphone Adam just passed to read his newspaper. Suddenly, all the writing in the newspaper, as well as on the phone and the phone sign above, turn into hieroglyphics! The old man notices and slowly backs away, likely peeing his depends at such an unnatural phenomenon. Pharaoh whines that he took his staff and now he's powerless! Soon enough, as Adam strolls down the street with the staff rested on his shoulder, every sign he passes turns into a hieroglyphic representation of what it said in English. He has no clue this is going on, as he enters the Angel Grove High School Library to visit Kat & Justin. He places the staff down on the table (turning the 'quiet' sign and the varsity view magazine into hieroglyphics) and reminds them the movie is at Six. They're just finishing up studying, Justin just happens to be going over ancient Egypt (yes folks, TV is the land of coincidences) and he starts admiring the Pharaoh staff. Adam tells him it's for the "Land Of The Pharaohs" Stunt Show this week, Justin is about to show him how much like the real thing it looks in his book when he notices the book's gone Cairo! Showing it to his two teen friends, it's quickly observed that not only has his book turned into hieroglyphics, but every written material in the area. Adam remarks they're in for some serious chaos if the whole world becomes unreadable, as the staff glows gold.
[commercials]
Once again in the Subcraft, Divatox mocks Pharaoh, whom is at her total mercy, calling him useless and she should be glad she never married him! He's on his knees begging to be sent home, having done what she asked in planting the detonator. She tells him not until it goes off, sending him back to the stunt show to make sure no one gets near it. He groans & grovels, whining he should have never gotten out of the sarcophagus this morning. Back at Angel Grove, Kat, Justin & Adam approach the Juice Bar, noticing the sign's translated itself into hieroglyphics as well! Kat finally contacts Dimitria on her communicator (right in front of the Youth Center, might I add), explaining the confusing event to her. Dimitria starts to give hints as to what's causing everything to write like an Egyptian, making questioned reference to like the Nile, every river having a source. What symbol of long ago holds such force of power that it can alter all written forms of communications? The Ranger seem puzzled, not realizing said source is just a few feet away propped up against the payphone! Inside the Juice Bar, the neon sign turns into a picture of a guy drinking a glass with two large pieces of fruit next to him. Everything's effected, including the menu, prompting an elderly gentleman to complain to Lt. Stone about it. Jerome kisses major poor-actor booty in following the old adage 'the customer is always a jerk, so pretend he's right'. The Bulk & Skull Chimps are given another primate plan (or at least Bulk, the monkey mastermind like always), to draw what happened to them since they can't be understood and get someone to notice they're humans.
At the Amusement Center, Pharaoh sneaks around in his attempt to guard the detonator. Two little snot nose brats are also sneaking around just behind him, scaring the scarabs right out of him (i'm surprised he didn't call for Mummy!). The blonde kid asks if he was in the show, to which Pharaoh says no and for them to scram. The kid says he can't tell them what to do, and when confronted, years of watching too much Power Rangers comes into play, as the boy gives Pharaoh a kick to the shin. The Staffless Pharaoh falls and moans about being powerless without his toy, with the punk kid saying his costume stinks. Just a few feet away from the cliche 'i've fallen and I can't get up', is a bucket of water with the Periscope peeking through it. Elgar is bowing to Divatox, as she calls what she's just seen pathetic. Rygog suggests they get his staff back to him so he can perform his duties correctly. She knows he's right, and she does hate to see her former fiance like that, so she has the Piranahtrons sent in! On the sidewalks of Angel Suburbia, Adam, Kat & Justin ponder the queries posed by their enigmatic mentor, unbeknownst to them Adam is carrying the key to the mystery. Before they can give it too much thought, a school of P-Trons appear and engage our heroes in usual physical combat. During the scuffle, a Piranahtron is able to separate Adam from the staff, before teleporting away before the Rangers can reach them. They finally put two and two thousand, B.C. together and realize the Pharaoh's staff was what caused the odd writing all over. Adam explains he made that think himself out of paper mache and wood, it has no supernatural properties to it. In need of more clues to this predicament, they head back to the Juice Bar to meet up with Tommy & Tanya. Once there, they fill the absent Rangers in on what just happened, when Mr. Peabody shows up, asking loudly for Adam. He's carrying the Pharaoh staff, claiming Adam signed for it but forget to take it with him! He warns the bewildered teen to be more careful next time, muttering and shaking his fist in typical crotchety old man style. He returns to his friends, and they slowly piece things together, Kat figuring out there must be more than one staff. Knowing Divatox is behind this, and where there's Diva, there's detonators, they head back to the beginning of this whole mess, the Stunt Show.
Apparently, they teleport there offscreen and begin to scour around for anything suspicious. Mr. Peabody walks in and almost has a cow, not understanding how they got in there before him or what they're doing there. Adam makes up a story about forgetting something there, but he isn't sure what. Luckily for him, the old man knows every single prop in that area. He doesn't quite get what is going on, but needs to take inventory so the Ranger teens help out by showing him certain items as he calls off the stock number for them by memory. Divatox is watching, and is perturbed as always that the Rangers have stumbled onto her plan. Porto points out it'll take them so long to find the detonator, they won't have time to disarm it. Pharaoh is reunited with his precious staff, ready to roast some Ranger, but reminding Divatox she better be prepared to send him back home. The pirate queen of evil begins to lay on the charms to her Ex, calling him 'big & strong' and rubbing his scaraby head. He feels like he's finally getting the respect he deserves, rushing off to rid the universe of the Power Rangers. Divatox talks behind his back to Porto, about how even if they destroy him (which she expects they will) they'll never get back to the bomb on time. Back at the Stunt Show, Justin glances over at the small metallic pyramid and attempts to grab it, when it releases an electric charge. Mr. Peabody is awakened by the commotion, but doesn't seem to remember that item being one of the props. Adam pretends that's what he left, Mr. Peabody tells him to take it and begone, he's got work to do on the other stages. Left alone, Kat cautions Adam not to touch that thing, so all once, the Rangers Morph Like An Egyptian (oh, you saw that pun coming a mile away)! The whole team Turboed Up, Green Ranger whips out the biggest tool in disarming detonators, his Turbo Thunder Cannon! Aiming carefully at the pyramid, he's able to pull the trigger and end the trouble, when Pharaoh halts them, mentioning they're surrounded by Piranahtrons! They indeed are, Pink Ranger remarks they don't have time for this.
[commercials]
Turbo Rangers Versus Piranahtrons, round eighty-billion and three! Green Ranger takes on Pharaoh, while some really interesting song plays in the background. It's rarely (if ever) heard again, something about "turning on the thunder now, get on the turbo now". Needless to say, I want another PR Soundtrack album and soon. So the battle rages on, Pharaoh wasn't just joking when he said that staff gave him power. He uses it for defense & offense, and as what happens when Adam fires the Thunder Cannon at it, reflects back at the Turbo Rangers tenfold. Divatox decides to give Pharaoh one for old times sake, having the Torpedoes launched, giving him a pyramid sized size boost. The Rangers brush off the P-Trons, and call for their Turbozords, quickly initiating Turbo Megazord linkup. The moment the giant Mecha steps into the city limits, Pharaoh knocks it around with his staff, giving it a sunburn and scorching with some of his fire breath. It finally topples, and by the time it regains its footing, it's dusk and the sun's going down! He squirts off another flame wave (cutting to inside the cockpit, Red, Pink & Yellow Rangers are missing! Darned Carranger footage! ;} and it crushes a building on it's way down (likely the Egyptian Historical Society's Headquarters). By the time it gets back up, it's now nighttime and Pharaoh keeps up with his staffwhipping. Some more buildings get pancaked, explosions abound, and finally Pharaoh boasts some more about how as long as he has that staff he's unstoppable. The Megazord down, he starts to think Divatox was on to something, deciding to do things his own way by destroying the planet himself. He begins his rampage by trying to remove a large suspension bridge (where'd THAT come from?) girder by girder. The Turbo Megazord regains it's barings, walks over and gets to the Pharaoh bashing. When he gets his torchy breath, this time they pull out the Megazord Tire Shield and protect themselves. For some reason that has nothing to do with this episode of PRT, Pink & Yellow Rangers take the reins of attacking Pharaoh, until the Wind Chaser arm shatters Pharaoh's staff's centerpiece of glass! He's powerless as the shield bonks him on the noggin, and a Dune Star leg Turbo Kick takes him down for a change. Tommy summons the Turbo Megazord Saber, the Rangers step on the gas for a Megazord Spinout. Within moments, the curse of the Pharaoh ends with him likely ruling over where monsters go when they get blowed up. Porto informs his queen that Pharaoh is gone, and she's glad to finally have closure. To top things off, the detonator is still ticking away, things couldn't get better for her! The Turbo Ranger teleport back to the Amusement Park, only to discover the pyramid bomb missing! Running out of time, they spot it on Mr. Peabody's hands a few feet away! Green Ranger yells to him before pulling out his Thunder Cannon. The old dude almost jumps out of his whitey tidies at the sight of a Ranger aiming a huge gun at him. He tosses the pyramid in the air, giving Adam a chance to blast it off into a safe distance. Mr. Peabody's alright, but tells the Rangers' Adam's not going to be happy they trashed his item. Blue Ranger points out the signs are still hieroglyphics, and almost the second he does they revert back to normal. In a scene I can't quite figure out, Divatox looks disappointed the Pharaoh is history while sitting on her stash of pillaged treasure chests. Porto, holding a human skull, says yes, one might even say he's ancient history. Elgar finds that hilarious, as do the other henchmonsters, but Divatox warns only she'll tell the jokes around here.
[commercials]
Another day at the Juice Bar, the Rangers teens conversing like normal. Kat is about to take Justin to class (summer school?) while Adam is off to his job at the Stunt Show. Suddenly, a rift in the Zeo Plothole Continuum opens up and spews out Emily, Jason's girlfriend! She tells them she's got something to show them they're not going to believe. The gang follows her outside to the back of the Youth Center, where a crowd has gathered. Two art experts (?!) discuss the masterpiece smeared on the wall of the Juice Bar. One thinks it's of an old man pondering the meaning of life, the other thinks it's a beautiful woman saddened by her suitor's departure to war. The authors of this piece, The Bulk & Skull Chimps, weren't trying to make a primate art statement, they were trying to paint hieroglyphics to show they were humans trapped in monkeys bodies! The two chimps eat their paintbrushes, cover Lt. Stone's face in paint, and get nowhere in trying to get returned to their natural forms. The gang of Ranger teens, and Emily (whom will never be seen again) laugh.
[end credits]
_BLOOPERS:_
Tanya tries to spit out a line to her Ranger teens friends, about them saying Adam's staff is what caused... but unable to get the words out right; Adam & Tommy pick up various items and show them to Mr. Peabody, he recounts off memory the stock number for each one. Tommy sheepishly remarks that he's good!; Kat looks back and forth with the camera right on her, before losing focus, laughing & giving a soft scream; The Egyptian stuntmen go backflipping, until one falls and can't get up; In the Subcraft, Divatox, Porto & Pharaoh ask Paulie what he said, and the director, our one time Mister Bulkmeier, appears on the deck of the Subcraft shouting 'Cut!'
